I'll be honest; I wasn't sure whether to write this post as it's a
very personal subject. However, I decided since this is a parenting
blog it made sense to write about my experience with Postnatal Depression
after becoming a mother.
It started in September 2013 when Sophie was 3 months old. My
family had noticed I hadn't been myself for a while; I didn't have the
motivation to do anything, I felt isolated but didn't want to go out, I was
always tired and I would cry at the slightest thing. I've always been a very
sensitive person, but this was different. I couldn't control my emotions at
all.
That was when, along with the encouragement of my family, I went
to see my doctor. After describing what I was feeling, he said it sounded like
Post Natal Depression (PND). He prescribed me some anti-depressants which he said could
take around 6 weeks to start working. 4 weeks later on my next visit to
the doctor, I felt no different whatsoever so he changed my medication. He
prescribed me something different (I won’t mention the name of it) which seemed to work and I have
been on/off it for 18 months now on different doses.
In my opinion, being a Mum is hard work! There are times where I have felt so worthless and that Sophie deserves better. But the worst thing you can do is compare yourself to other mums. At the end of the day; your child loves you no matter what and I would do absolutely anything for Sophie. I can't put into words how much I love her.
I’m still suffering with PND – I guess it doesn’t just disappear
overnight. I’m still up and down, I feel like I'm always tired and sometimes dread waking up in the morning. But, hopefully I can overcome it. On my last
visit to the doctor, which was last week, I mentioned counselling. I thought
talking to someone may be able to help me understand the reason behind it. I
have had some personal issues which I won’t go into but I’m willing to try it so I'm just waiting for a referral now.
I didn't realise how
common PND was. It affects around 1 in 10 women after they've had a baby. It's nothing to be ashamed of or embarrassed about. You really
don’t have to go through it on your own. Having PND doesn't make you a bad
mother and I hope my story can help in some way; whether you have suffered with
it or if it gives you the encouragement to ask for help.
If you have any questions or just want a chat; please email me at sophieellaandme@hotmail.com
This is really brave of you, it's an awful thing at times but you're a fantastic mum and Sophie is a credit to you x
ReplyDeleteThankyou very much, that means a lot. It really is hard but I thought if I could share my experience and people relate to it then at least they know they're not alone and it may encourage someone to get the help they need xx
Delete