This time four years ago, I received possibly the worst news I could have ever imagined. My best friend, Jen, had suddenly passed away. I remember that day like it was yesterday.
On the anniversary of her death, I have written her a letter..
Dear Jen,
I remember meeting each other when we were both ten years old, after I moved primary school. Since then, we became best friends and we were for seven years.
I remember the day you passed away so clearly. I knew you weren’t well in hospital, but you were getting better. It all happened so fast. One minute I was planning on coming to visit you, and the next minute, you were gone. I didn’t even get to say goodbye. I still expect to see you walk through the door or something. I don’t think I will ever accept that you’re not coming back.
I can’t believe four years have passed by already. It feels like so long ago since I last saw you, little did I know that it would be the last time. If I’d have known, I would have thanked you. For always being there for me and for being such an amazing best friend. I would have hugged you tighter and begged you not to go.
I think about you all the time and as the days go by, little things remind me of you. It can be hard sometimes but it makes me smile too, especially when I do something stupid and I know exactly what you would say to me! I talk to you sometimes and I imagine your voice, talking back and giving me advice. I like it when you visit me in my dreams too. It’s always just like the old times, like you never even left. But then I wake up and realise it was just a dream.
We had so many wonderful memories that I treasure; shopping trips out, going to concerts, cinema trips, just the usual stuff seventeen year olds do. Whatever we did, it was always full of fun and laughter!
If you’re wondering how I am right now, I guess I’m pretty happy. I never got to tell you when you were here, I had met someone and we’ve been together ever since. I told you all about him when I came to visit you and I told you all about Sophie too. Do you remember? It breaks my heart that you and Sophie will never meet each other. I just know she would have adored you and I’m sure you would have loved her too. When she is old enough to understand, I will be sure to tell her all about you. I will keep your memory alive.
Life just isn’t the same without you here and I don’t think it ever will be. You were the most beautiful, kind hearted, loyal and funniest person I’ve ever met and I feel so lucky to call you my best friend. You were always so happy and had a smile on your face, and that is how I will remember you.
I hope you’re okay up there, Jen. Until we meet again. Miss you and love you always.
Emma xxx
Just wanted to send you a squeeze. What a lovely letter xx
Thank you so much xx
What a lovely letter!! Sending big hugs your way xxx
Thank you lovely xx