You may have seen we recently welcomed our second baby girl and today I’m finally going to be finally sharing her birth story with you. It was another planned induction, but this time due to a number of reduced movements. My first birth was very straightforward and I naively expected a similar experience this time around, however nothing ever turns out the way you think and it couldn’t have been more different to how I imagined.
So if you want to find out exactly what happened; here is Amelia’s birth story, from the very beginning…
Thursday 19th October 2017
Friday 20th October 2017
By 11.30am, I was finally getting regular contractions which I was timing on my phone. They were hoping I would be at least 5cm dilated on my next examination and I was feeling positive that things were progressing well. So you can imagine how annoyed I was when I was examined just after 1pm and I was only 3cm dilated. The doctor came in to speak to me at this point and that was the first time a c-section was mentioned and I was told was likely to happen as things weren’t progressing as they should, especially as I had been on the highest dose of the hormone drip for 8 hours now. I have to say at this point, anyone that is close to me knows how terrified I was about the thought of having a c-section, but it didn’t even cross my mind that it would be a possibility. I was so nervous and scared already. I was expecting a similar, if not quicker birth than first time around but it wasn’t the case. They said they would give me another four hours to labour or it would definitely be a c-section. However I thought that was a long time to wait, not knowing if I would be any further along. We decided to give it another two hours, which would have been enough time for my body to do what it’s supposed to (as it had done it before).The doctor also said that the baby’s head was still really high up, but she could still feel waters (it turns out they hadn’t all broken or something). So my waters were broken again and they definitely went that time! I was pretty excited when contractions started back up fifteen minutes later, at 3.30pm.
I was having really strong contractions for the next couple of hours, I really thought things were finally happening and it wouldn’t be long now. I had to really focus on my breathing and I used gas and air to help with the pain. Fast forward two hours and the doctor came to examine me again. I was still only 3cm dilated, so it was confirmed right there and then I would definitely be having a c-section. I burst into tears, I was absolutely terrified. It was literally my worst nightmare coming true, but I knew there was no other option.
Not long after, I met the anaesthetist and a couple of other doctors and I was gowned up for theatre. They read the consent form and I signed it and I was then wheeled off to theatre at 5.40pm. There were quite a lot of people in theatre, but everyone was lovely. They all introduced themselves and tried to reassure me it would be okay. Although, I remember sitting on the operating table crying. I was so frightened. I even contemplated being put to sleep for the operation, but I knew I would regret not being awake for Amelia’s birth.
Before we knew it, at 6.14pm, our beautiful baby girl entered the world. I was so relieved to hear her cry and know she was safe. They checked her over and then brought her over to me for skin to skin – which was just amazing. My first thoughts were how tiny she was. I just couldn’t stop staring at her. I was stitched back up and we waited in a recovery room for a short while, then taken back to my room on the delivery suite. We then messaged family and friends the news of Amelia’s safe arrival and Toby got her dressed and started her first feed. The midwives changed shifts again too, around 7pm.
The doctor who delivered Amelia said they couldn’t find a reason why she was still so high up (and wouldn’t move down, for a natural birth). At least we knew there was nothing wrong and it was just one of those things. During the operation, I lost 750ml of blood, however they weren’t concerned as anything under a litre during a c-section is normal.
This was where things started to go wrong…
After arriving back on the delivery suite, the new midwife looking after me, Rebecca (who was absolutely lovely), noticed I was still bleeding. They were keeping a close on me and were changing the pads underneath me regularly, however the bleeding wasn’t showing any signs of stopping. It was around then, that we met the sister midwife, Lynne, who was nothing short of amazing. The doctor, Katie (who I must add, was also brilliant), used two different methods to try to stop it, but they both failed. She was pushing/massaging my stomach trying to get my blood to clot (not the most comfortable thing, when you’ve just had a c-section), while I was puffing hard on the gas and air – which made me so high, I thankfully at times, didn’t really have a clue what was going on. It was decided, the only other option was to go back into theatre and have another operation, however this time would have to be under general anaesthetic. They said they would have to insert what they call a ‘Bakri balloon’, which fills with water and compresses the blood vessels to stop the bleeding. So they read the risks to me and I had to sign another consent form. I didn’t expect them to say there was a chance of a hysterectomy (removal of the womb) if they couldn’t stop the bleeding and I got very emotional. I looked over at my newborn daughter, not knowing if she would ever be my last baby. They tried to reassure me and said it wasn’t very common and it only happens to every 1 in 1000 women. But once again, I was terrified. Especially as I had to go on my own, while Toby looked after Amelia. We quickly said goodbye to each other, as we thought I would be back in just a couple of hours.
At 10.30 pm, I went back down to theatre and before I knew it, I was put to sleep. They tried the ‘Bakri balloon’, but unfortunately that didn’t work either and I was still bleeding heavily. Also, Toby didn’t really know what was going on, which was very distressing for him. I don’t know what order everything was from here – but they had to put a stitch across my uterus (known as a B-Lynch suture) and I had a blood transfusion, to replace the blood I lost – which was 4.5 litres in total.
Saturday 21st October 2017
Thankfully, the operation was a success and at 2.20am, I was taken to a recovery room not far from theatre – just in case anything was to happen shortly after (luckily – it didn’t). I asked to see Toby and Amelia and was so pleased to see them both. Although I was quite poorly and rather irritable, having just woken up from the anaesthetic and being in pain, I was too weak to hold Amelia for long.
At 3am, I was taken to the High Dependency Unit and my Mum came shortly after and told Toby to go home and sleep. I believe Amelia was taken to NICU at this point, as there was no one else to look after her. I stayed in HDU for the day and moved into the IC room on the delivery suite later on that day.
Sophie came in to see us and meet her new baby sister, however I was in and out of sleep, dosed up on morphine and in a lot of pain. I had missed her so much, but just couldn’t give her the attention I wanted to. It hurt to even cuddle her, and that made me feel so guilty. I had imagined the day our girls would meet for the first time and how we would announce the birth to everyone, and this was certainly not it.
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I was then moved onto the ward, where I still relied on Toby, our families and midwives, to do everything. I had to watch everyone else look after Amelia. I couldn’t feed her, or change her and I was too weak to even hold her for more than 5 minutes. When Toby or my Mum weren’t there, Amelia was taken to Neonatal to be looked after. I felt absolutely useless and so guilty I couldn’t look after either of my girls. I would spend my nights crying and having flashbacks at what had happened, as would Toby, who was also traumatised.
I was also very offended and upset when a couple of the midwives thought I wasn’t bonding with her too. I was tired, weak and in a lot of pain. As much as I wanted to look after my newborn, I physically couldn’t. I was adamant I wanted to go home, so day-by-day I built up my strength. I gradually could get out of bed without assistance, walk to the toilet and most importantly help take care of my baby. So on Wednesday 25th October, they said we could finally go home!
I just wanted to thank the lovely midwives and doctors who looked after me and Amelia during our stay. And to the amazing Lynne, Rebecca and Katie – we can’t thank you enough and will forever appreciate everything you did for us x
You can find out more information and help on traumatic births over on the Birth Trauma Association website.
Life-As-Mum says
Oh hun. Bless you <3 You are so brave and so strong. And can I just say how amazing you look in those photos <3 You've done so well and Amelia is absolutely beautiful just like her Mama and Big Sister!
sophieellaandme says
Thank you so much lovely xxx
Rebecca U says
Oh wow, this is quite the birth story! Such a long process that can be very stressful. All is well in the end, though.
sophieellaandme says
I know, I didn't expect it to be so long! Yes definitely x
Anonymous says
How awful for you. I know how terrifying a c section is having had one twice. But once it's over a relief washes over you that it's finished and everything is about healing. But for you that just didn't happen because of the extra surgery and worry. I'm so glad you managed to escape a hysterectomy too. x
sophieellaandme says
Thank you, it was a pretty terrifying experience but I'm so relieved I didn't have a hysterectomy x
Unknown says
Wow just wow!! you're an absolute hero for going through all of that. And honestly my heart was in my mouth when you started about a possible hysterectomy!! So glad it all came out ok in the end though xx
sophieellaandme says
Thank you so much x
The Breastest News says
Oh goodness! So glad you and baby are ok. It takes me back to my first birth which was awful. Ended up with a planned section 2nd time round xx
sophieellaandme says
Thank you. Oh I'm sorry to hear your first birth wasn't a very positive one, I hope second time round was a better experience for you x
jik says
Oh wow ! So glad you are both ok , and munchkin is finally here 🙂 – unconventional Kira x
sophieellaandme says
Thank you x
Kerry Louise Norris says
Aww I am so glad you are both ok. How awful of the midwifes to say you weren’t bonding. I’m not surprised you were offended, you’d been through so much. I can imagine how scary it was to have to here a possibility of a hysterectomy x
sophieellaandme says
Thank you, I know it really upset me. I was all over the place and was recovering too. It was a horrible experience x
Rachael Claire says
What a birth! You are superwoman, I’m just so glad that everything turned out alright in the end & your beautiful baby is here. Xx
sophieellaandme says
Thank you so much. We're so glad she's finally here safely and she's thriving! x
Nadia - Scandi Mummy says
Oh wow what an ordeal. So happy to hear you are all okay, safe and healthy.
Babiesandbeauty says
Oh wow, I’m so sorry you had such a traumatic time. You’ve handled it like an absolute trooper. I can’t believe the midwives said you weren’t bonding – that’s disgraceful!
Lucie from lucielovesit.com says
What a story! I always get a little anxious reading it birth stories as they are a trigger for me as I had a traumatic experience. You did such an amazing job! I'm happy to hear all is well now xx
OneSliceOfLemon says
WOW….thanks for sharing and what a lovely post to read back on especially as it's in so much detail! Glad hear you guys are ok.
http://www.onesliceoflemon.com/